Sunday, October 18, 2009
I like this
Ah Neh
Hello!
I have wanted to write about Laura’s grandmother for some time. Laura has a grandmother whom she calls ‘Ah Neh’. Ah Neh is around 96 years old this year, and Laura’s mother, Veronica, has many names for her, such as ‘my baby’, or more recently, ‘xian1 ma1’ (fairy godmother).
My first impression of Ah Neh is that she is a kind lady. Every time when I visit Laura at her house, Ah Neh will ask me to eat (I love this becos there is always a lot of delicious food at Laura’s place), and ask Laura to pour me water or tea. She knows me as Laura’s ‘Peng Ju’ (friend in Hainanese), and she remembers that I stay in Hougang.
Ah Neh’s memory is unstable. Sometimes she drifts back to the past, such as asking Laura and her mother to go to the fields and fetch the cows home (she thinks that Laura’s whole family is working at the farm now). She will ask Laura for a hat so that she can plough the fields with them. But when Laura bluffed her last night that the cows are sleeping, she challenged Laura,” I thought you told me last week that you sold all the cows already?” Laura says she doesn’t know when to tell Ah Neh the truth or lie.
Last night at Laura’s place, I sat beside Ah Neh and she started talking a lot to me, in Hainanese. In Laura’s father’s words, it was a hen and a duck communicating, as he was observing us and that we could not understand each other at all. I only went ‘Urm, ya, Urm’ throughout the whole conversation. I was hoping that her father would come to my rescue, but he just sat there and watched TV (probably enjoying my discomfort as well).
I remembered when I started dating Laura, sometimes she was late and she said that Ah Neh does not let her out of the house. Ah Neh, was in a way, a figure at home. She will question people where they are going, and on occasions when people buy things back to the house that she doesn’t like, she will throw them away without telling them. The thing is that her family complains, but gives in to her nonetheless.
I still remember Laura’s Cousin, Joan, coming back to visit Ah Neh at Laura’s place. When Joan left the house on her way back to the States, I saw Ah Neh walking very fast to the door with her walking support, and waved and said ‘byebye’ until Joan was nowhere in sight. Another incident was when Laura’s parents went with her to Barcelona for her study exchange trip, and Ah Neh, knowing that she will not see Veronica for the next 3 weeks, came up to her and buttoned her shirt nicely for her. Both of them were tearing.
I really like Veronica’s attitude for her mother. Everytime she talks about her mother, adjectives such as ‘cute’, ‘smart’ and ‘understanding’ spring up, while she sticks her thumbs up and tells us about the little everyday funny stories about Ah Neh. I have seen so many incidents where people talk about the troubles that their aged parents bring, which I am sure Ah Neh brings to her family too, but from Veronica’s words, I have never felt that Ah Neh was a burden to the family. The genuine smile on her face when she talks about Ah Neh says it all.
Definitely, caregiver ‘s stress exist. Sometimes, Laura would complain to me about her grandmother. I used to be angry when she was impatient with her Ah Neh, or when she talks back to her loudly. This was until a talk which I had with a veteran volunteer, Henry, at one of the ‘Meet the People’ sessions. We had a resident who visited us and complained to us about her mother who was wheel-chair bound and grumpy and giving her problems and inconveniences. I was asking Henry why do people get impatient with their aged parents when they should take care of them. He said caregiver’s stress exists and he told me about his mother. The everyday interactions and problems faced are things that an outsider cannot understand unless they swapped positions. I understood what he was saying, as I have not lived with an aged person in my whole life.
Currently, Laura is living in a 4-room flat with 7 people in it. Her 2 grandmothers, parents, brother and maid. Often, her cousins from China would come in to stay with them too, and I can understand the lack of space and privacy Laura does not enjoy, something which I value a lot. The thing is that both Laura and her father would sleep on the floor (in the living room) and make adjustments for the elderly at home. For example, when Laura was studying at home for her exams, and when the weather was warm or when there were weddings/funerals going on in the void deck, she gives up her room with air con when her grandmother, who is afraid of cold, wants to take an afternoon nap. Laura’s father is also a man of few words. But from his actions, I understand that it does not matter what you say, it is what you do. The little sacrifices you make everyday says it all and people can tell.
I also realize that to take care of someone, you must have at least 3 qualities: the ability (e.g. money to buy groceries and employ maid), the heart (e.g. filial piety) and the magnanimity (e.g. little daily sacrifices and sometimes, criticisms or interactions from people, outside the circle) to do it. The lack of any one of these makes things much harder. Also, from Laura’ mother, I realize that people can always choose to take a view on the life process they have to go through, regardless of whether they are enjoying or not. The choice makes a hell lot of difference. And when people only focus on the problem, instead of the solution, they are not likely to be happy for a long while.
Songjie
I have wanted to write about Laura’s grandmother for some time. Laura has a grandmother whom she calls ‘Ah Neh’. Ah Neh is around 96 years old this year, and Laura’s mother, Veronica, has many names for her, such as ‘my baby’, or more recently, ‘xian1 ma1’ (fairy godmother).
My first impression of Ah Neh is that she is a kind lady. Every time when I visit Laura at her house, Ah Neh will ask me to eat (I love this becos there is always a lot of delicious food at Laura’s place), and ask Laura to pour me water or tea. She knows me as Laura’s ‘Peng Ju’ (friend in Hainanese), and she remembers that I stay in Hougang.
Ah Neh’s memory is unstable. Sometimes she drifts back to the past, such as asking Laura and her mother to go to the fields and fetch the cows home (she thinks that Laura’s whole family is working at the farm now). She will ask Laura for a hat so that she can plough the fields with them. But when Laura bluffed her last night that the cows are sleeping, she challenged Laura,” I thought you told me last week that you sold all the cows already?” Laura says she doesn’t know when to tell Ah Neh the truth or lie.
Last night at Laura’s place, I sat beside Ah Neh and she started talking a lot to me, in Hainanese. In Laura’s father’s words, it was a hen and a duck communicating, as he was observing us and that we could not understand each other at all. I only went ‘Urm, ya, Urm’ throughout the whole conversation. I was hoping that her father would come to my rescue, but he just sat there and watched TV (probably enjoying my discomfort as well).
I remembered when I started dating Laura, sometimes she was late and she said that Ah Neh does not let her out of the house. Ah Neh, was in a way, a figure at home. She will question people where they are going, and on occasions when people buy things back to the house that she doesn’t like, she will throw them away without telling them. The thing is that her family complains, but gives in to her nonetheless.
I still remember Laura’s Cousin, Joan, coming back to visit Ah Neh at Laura’s place. When Joan left the house on her way back to the States, I saw Ah Neh walking very fast to the door with her walking support, and waved and said ‘byebye’ until Joan was nowhere in sight. Another incident was when Laura’s parents went with her to Barcelona for her study exchange trip, and Ah Neh, knowing that she will not see Veronica for the next 3 weeks, came up to her and buttoned her shirt nicely for her. Both of them were tearing.
I really like Veronica’s attitude for her mother. Everytime she talks about her mother, adjectives such as ‘cute’, ‘smart’ and ‘understanding’ spring up, while she sticks her thumbs up and tells us about the little everyday funny stories about Ah Neh. I have seen so many incidents where people talk about the troubles that their aged parents bring, which I am sure Ah Neh brings to her family too, but from Veronica’s words, I have never felt that Ah Neh was a burden to the family. The genuine smile on her face when she talks about Ah Neh says it all.
Definitely, caregiver ‘s stress exist. Sometimes, Laura would complain to me about her grandmother. I used to be angry when she was impatient with her Ah Neh, or when she talks back to her loudly. This was until a talk which I had with a veteran volunteer, Henry, at one of the ‘Meet the People’ sessions. We had a resident who visited us and complained to us about her mother who was wheel-chair bound and grumpy and giving her problems and inconveniences. I was asking Henry why do people get impatient with their aged parents when they should take care of them. He said caregiver’s stress exists and he told me about his mother. The everyday interactions and problems faced are things that an outsider cannot understand unless they swapped positions. I understood what he was saying, as I have not lived with an aged person in my whole life.
Currently, Laura is living in a 4-room flat with 7 people in it. Her 2 grandmothers, parents, brother and maid. Often, her cousins from China would come in to stay with them too, and I can understand the lack of space and privacy Laura does not enjoy, something which I value a lot. The thing is that both Laura and her father would sleep on the floor (in the living room) and make adjustments for the elderly at home. For example, when Laura was studying at home for her exams, and when the weather was warm or when there were weddings/funerals going on in the void deck, she gives up her room with air con when her grandmother, who is afraid of cold, wants to take an afternoon nap. Laura’s father is also a man of few words. But from his actions, I understand that it does not matter what you say, it is what you do. The little sacrifices you make everyday says it all and people can tell.
I also realize that to take care of someone, you must have at least 3 qualities: the ability (e.g. money to buy groceries and employ maid), the heart (e.g. filial piety) and the magnanimity (e.g. little daily sacrifices and sometimes, criticisms or interactions from people, outside the circle) to do it. The lack of any one of these makes things much harder. Also, from Laura’ mother, I realize that people can always choose to take a view on the life process they have to go through, regardless of whether they are enjoying or not. The choice makes a hell lot of difference. And when people only focus on the problem, instead of the solution, they are not likely to be happy for a long while.
Songjie
# posted by eastsidebackstreet : 3:59 pm
Monday, October 12, 2009
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Workout Session
Hello!
I was wondering if all of you are interested in a 3D/2N trip to Pulai Spring. It is a short 1 ½ hour drive from Singapore.
The purpose of the trip is actually to talk. Of course, there are activities to do there as well, such as KTV, table tennis, basketball and swimming.
I am aware of some of the things that have been happening. To be honest, I don’t really care. As I have said before, the clique is the clique. I know as time passes, all of us have our commitments to family, work and girlfriends, but to me the clique is the core.
The thing is I can’t do this alone. If you see value in the friendship and the bond, I believe we can talk about it. I know on many of your minds, you will be thinking, ‘No point la.’ But I refuse to believe this. No doubt the road may be hard, and there will be many skeptics along the way, but I believe if we see value in this, we can make it work.
During my internship stint at GE, we had this session called the ‘Workout Session’. It is scheduled at the end of every quarter where the finance manager would come in to talk to everyone in a room and see what has gone wrong and can be improved, and what has gone right and should remain. What we could do during our trip to Pulai Spring is we could voice our views to one another and talk about it.
All this should happen in a congenial environment. I figured this would be more effective than a 3 hour dinner.
Logistic issues aside, I just want to see your interest in this activity. If some of you have better suggestions, I’m all ears.
Songjie
# posted by eastsidebackstreet : 2:44 pm
Monday, October 05, 2009
稻香
Thanks to my sister and her hard disk, I've been listening to more songs lately. 稻香 by Jay Chou is one of my favourites. I enjoy the song's cheerful and catchy tune with its meaningful lyrics. I've googled for the lyrics and found one with Han Yu Pin Yin and english translation. The english translation is really funny. I think it was probably done by someone, not with a very good command of english, but really good effort though. Enjoy!
dui zhe ge shi jie ru guo ni you tai duo de bao yuan
对 这 个 世 界 如 果 你 有 太 多 的 抱 怨
If you have too many complain in this world
die dao le jiu bu gan ji xu wang qian zou
跌 倒 了 就 不 敢 继 续 往 前 走
Once fall down, you won't have a courage to move forward
wei shen me ren yao zhe me de cui ruo duo luo
为 什 么 人 要 这 么 的 脆 弱 堕 落
Why does human so fragile
qing ni da kai dian shi kan kan
请 你 打 开 电 视 看 看
Please switch on the TV and watch
duo shao ren wei sheng ming zai nu li yong gan de zou xia qu
多 少 人 为 生 命 在 努 力 勇 敢 的 走 下 去
How many people try hard and brave to move forward just because of living
wo men shi bu shi gai zhi zu
我 们 是 不 是 该 知 足
Shouldn't we feel enough
zhen xi yi qie jiu suan mei you yong you
珍 惜 一 切 就 算 没 有 拥 有
Treasure what you have now, even you have nothing you actually own everything
huan ji de ni shuo jia shi wei yi de cheng bao
还 记 得 你 说 家 是 唯 一 的 城 堡
Remember back then you said home is the only castle
sui zhu dao xiang he liu ji xu ben pao
随 著 稻 香 河 流 继 续 奔 跑
Fragrance rice, as the river continue flowing
wei wei xiao xiao shi hou de meng wo zhi dao
微 微 笑 小 时 候 的 梦 我 知 道
Slightly smile, dream of childhood, I know
bu yao ku rang ying huo chong dai zhu ni tao pao
不 要 哭 让 萤 火 虫 带 著 你 逃 跑
Don't cry, let firefly bring you running.
xiang jian de ge yao yong yuan de yi kao
乡 间 的 歌 谣 永 远 的 依 靠
Forever rely on village folk song
hui jia ba hui dao zui chu de mei hao
回 家 吧 回 到 最 初 的 美 好
Go home, back to the beginning of beauty
bu yao zhe me rong yi jiu xiang fang qi
不 要 这 么 容 易 就 想 放 弃
Don't give up so fast
jiu xiang wo shuo de
就 像 我 说 的
Like what I said
zhui bu dao de meng xiang huan ge meng bu jiu de le
追 不 到 的 梦 想 换 个 梦 不 就 得 了
The dream you can't achieve, just exchange it, you got it
wei zi ji de ren sheng xian yan shang se
为 自 己 的 人 生 鲜 艳 上 色
Let you life coloured brightly.
xian ba ai tu shang xi huan de yan se
先 把 爱 涂 上 喜 欢 的 颜 色
First, let paint the love with favourite colour
xiao yi ge ba gong cheng ming jiu bu shi mu di
笑 一 个 吧 功 成 名 就 不 是 目 的
Smile, become famous not the purpose
rang zi ji kuai le kuai le zhe cai jiao zuo yi yi
让 自 己 快 乐 快 乐 这 才 叫 做 意 义
Let yourself happy, is more meaningful
tong nian de zhi fei ji
童 年 的 纸 飞 机
Childhood paper plane
xian zai zhong yu fei hui wo shou li
现 在 终 于 飞 回 我 手 里
Finally, now fly back to my hand
suo wei de na kuai le
所 谓 的 那 快 乐
So called happiness
chi jiao zai tian li zhui qing ting zhui dao lei le
赤 脚 在 田 里 追 蜻 蜓 追 到 累 了
Barefoot on (rice)field, catch dragonfly until tired
tou zhai shui guo bei mi feng gei ding dao pa le
偷 摘 水 果 被 蜜 蜂 给 叮 到 怕 了
Pluck fruit, scared being sting by bee
shei zai tou xiao ne
谁 在 偷 笑 呢
Who, laughing, woollen cloth
wo kao zhu dao cao ren chui zhu feng chang zhu ge shui zhu le
我 靠 著 稻 草 人 吹 著 风 唱 著 歌 睡 著 了
I lean against the scarecrow/straw man, blow by the wind, singing and then sleep
Oh! Oh! wu hou ji ta zai chong ming zhong geng qing cui
哦 哦 午 后 吉 它 在 虫 鸣 中 更 清 脆
Oh! Oh! Afternoon guitar accompany by insect singing make it more melodious
Oh! Oh! yang guang sa zai lu shang jiu bu pa xin sui
哦 哦 阳 光 洒 在 路 上 就 不 怕 心 碎
Oh! Oh! Sunlight shine on the road, don't worry heart will broken
zhen xi yi qie jiu suan mei you yong you
珍 惜 一 切 就 算 没 有 拥 有
Treasure what you have now, even you have nothing you actually own everything
huan ji de ni shuo jia shi wei yi de cheng bao
还 记 得 你 说 家 是 唯 一 的 城 堡
Remember back then you said home is the only castle
sui zhu dao xiang he liu ji xu ben pao
随 著 稻 香 河 流 继 续 奔 跑
Fragrance rice, as the river continue flowing
wei wei xiao xiao shi hou de meng wo zhi dao
微 微 笑 小 时 候 的 梦 我 知 道
Slightly smile, dream of childhood, I know
bu yao ku rang ying huo chong dai zhu ni tao pao
不 要 哭 让 萤 火 虫 带 著 你 逃 跑
Don't cry, let firefly bring you running.
xiang jian de ge yao yong yuan de yi kao
乡 间 的 歌 谣 永 远 的 依 靠
Forever rely on village folk song
hui jia ba hui dao zui chu de mei hao
回 家 吧 回 到 最 初 的 美 好
Go home, back to the beginning of beauty
Songjie
dui zhe ge shi jie ru guo ni you tai duo de bao yuan
对 这 个 世 界 如 果 你 有 太 多 的 抱 怨
If you have too many complain in this world
die dao le jiu bu gan ji xu wang qian zou
跌 倒 了 就 不 敢 继 续 往 前 走
Once fall down, you won't have a courage to move forward
wei shen me ren yao zhe me de cui ruo duo luo
为 什 么 人 要 这 么 的 脆 弱 堕 落
Why does human so fragile
qing ni da kai dian shi kan kan
请 你 打 开 电 视 看 看
Please switch on the TV and watch
duo shao ren wei sheng ming zai nu li yong gan de zou xia qu
多 少 人 为 生 命 在 努 力 勇 敢 的 走 下 去
How many people try hard and brave to move forward just because of living
wo men shi bu shi gai zhi zu
我 们 是 不 是 该 知 足
Shouldn't we feel enough
zhen xi yi qie jiu suan mei you yong you
珍 惜 一 切 就 算 没 有 拥 有
Treasure what you have now, even you have nothing you actually own everything
huan ji de ni shuo jia shi wei yi de cheng bao
还 记 得 你 说 家 是 唯 一 的 城 堡
Remember back then you said home is the only castle
sui zhu dao xiang he liu ji xu ben pao
随 著 稻 香 河 流 继 续 奔 跑
Fragrance rice, as the river continue flowing
wei wei xiao xiao shi hou de meng wo zhi dao
微 微 笑 小 时 候 的 梦 我 知 道
Slightly smile, dream of childhood, I know
bu yao ku rang ying huo chong dai zhu ni tao pao
不 要 哭 让 萤 火 虫 带 著 你 逃 跑
Don't cry, let firefly bring you running.
xiang jian de ge yao yong yuan de yi kao
乡 间 的 歌 谣 永 远 的 依 靠
Forever rely on village folk song
hui jia ba hui dao zui chu de mei hao
回 家 吧 回 到 最 初 的 美 好
Go home, back to the beginning of beauty
bu yao zhe me rong yi jiu xiang fang qi
不 要 这 么 容 易 就 想 放 弃
Don't give up so fast
jiu xiang wo shuo de
就 像 我 说 的
Like what I said
zhui bu dao de meng xiang huan ge meng bu jiu de le
追 不 到 的 梦 想 换 个 梦 不 就 得 了
The dream you can't achieve, just exchange it, you got it
wei zi ji de ren sheng xian yan shang se
为 自 己 的 人 生 鲜 艳 上 色
Let you life coloured brightly.
xian ba ai tu shang xi huan de yan se
先 把 爱 涂 上 喜 欢 的 颜 色
First, let paint the love with favourite colour
xiao yi ge ba gong cheng ming jiu bu shi mu di
笑 一 个 吧 功 成 名 就 不 是 目 的
Smile, become famous not the purpose
rang zi ji kuai le kuai le zhe cai jiao zuo yi yi
让 自 己 快 乐 快 乐 这 才 叫 做 意 义
Let yourself happy, is more meaningful
tong nian de zhi fei ji
童 年 的 纸 飞 机
Childhood paper plane
xian zai zhong yu fei hui wo shou li
现 在 终 于 飞 回 我 手 里
Finally, now fly back to my hand
suo wei de na kuai le
所 谓 的 那 快 乐
So called happiness
chi jiao zai tian li zhui qing ting zhui dao lei le
赤 脚 在 田 里 追 蜻 蜓 追 到 累 了
Barefoot on (rice)field, catch dragonfly until tired
tou zhai shui guo bei mi feng gei ding dao pa le
偷 摘 水 果 被 蜜 蜂 给 叮 到 怕 了
Pluck fruit, scared being sting by bee
shei zai tou xiao ne
谁 在 偷 笑 呢
Who, laughing, woollen cloth
wo kao zhu dao cao ren chui zhu feng chang zhu ge shui zhu le
我 靠 著 稻 草 人 吹 著 风 唱 著 歌 睡 著 了
I lean against the scarecrow/straw man, blow by the wind, singing and then sleep
Oh! Oh! wu hou ji ta zai chong ming zhong geng qing cui
哦 哦 午 后 吉 它 在 虫 鸣 中 更 清 脆
Oh! Oh! Afternoon guitar accompany by insect singing make it more melodious
Oh! Oh! yang guang sa zai lu shang jiu bu pa xin sui
哦 哦 阳 光 洒 在 路 上 就 不 怕 心 碎
Oh! Oh! Sunlight shine on the road, don't worry heart will broken
zhen xi yi qie jiu suan mei you yong you
珍 惜 一 切 就 算 没 有 拥 有
Treasure what you have now, even you have nothing you actually own everything
huan ji de ni shuo jia shi wei yi de cheng bao
还 记 得 你 说 家 是 唯 一 的 城 堡
Remember back then you said home is the only castle
sui zhu dao xiang he liu ji xu ben pao
随 著 稻 香 河 流 继 续 奔 跑
Fragrance rice, as the river continue flowing
wei wei xiao xiao shi hou de meng wo zhi dao
微 微 笑 小 时 候 的 梦 我 知 道
Slightly smile, dream of childhood, I know
bu yao ku rang ying huo chong dai zhu ni tao pao
不 要 哭 让 萤 火 虫 带 著 你 逃 跑
Don't cry, let firefly bring you running.
xiang jian de ge yao yong yuan de yi kao
乡 间 的 歌 谣 永 远 的 依 靠
Forever rely on village folk song
hui jia ba hui dao zui chu de mei hao
回 家 吧 回 到 最 初 的 美 好
Go home, back to the beginning of beauty
Songjie
# posted by eastsidebackstreet : 10:28 pm
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