Thursday, July 20, 2006
This 3 days has really been hell for me... a lot more mental torture.. couldn't sleep well at nights and feeling a lot of pressure.. What is actually wrong with me? Pardon me man...I am feeling very frustrated with myself...I just want to take this chance where I can put my work aside to tell u guys about what I went through..Hopefully it could be a lesson for u guys to learn.
The whole time i can't seem to get things done right for my boss..Basically, I had to participate in making a website for my department and it consists of international countries. My job was to build the contents for the website and make requests to the designers, For topics, i basically find n classify all the leadership n military leadership topics properly. Next, find links and resources to build on the topics. Sounds easy? Initially, i classified all the topics according to my limited knowledge(thinking of letting someone who's expert in this field correct whatever is wrong), then jus find links n resources by internet..how difficult can it be? How i categorize the topics, i jus showed him, he glanced through then told me go do...I din really go n understand all the topics.. There's prob like 30 plus diff topics all new to me...these 3 months i mainly jus had to work on the project.After 2 months when my boss asked me to show him wat i compiled, that's where all my nightmare starts...
U know wat he used to describe me? "Jia-lat" was his exact word. JIA LAT man!!. When i heard it i was like thinking "wtf", m i really that bad? to me the word is like hopeless u know..He told me I have failed him n those working with me.. the so called operation failed so far because of me..He told me i would get fired if i m in the outside world, unfortunately, he cant do it to me now..He made me feel really stupid man.. really stupid..I m serious.. Have u ever heard an officer being labled that? I even made him scold me "f*** u"... haha.. for a person who dosent really scold foul language normally no matter how angry, i probably tested his patience to the limit. But wat is wrong with me? There's obviously something which till now i m not 100% sure..Can anyone help me out on this?
I think the main problem with me on this is my unwillingness to learn? Assuming I know what he wants when i actually dunno? I really have to figure out y did it turn out this way.. I really need to reflect.. Tell me whatever u guys think I should improve on? need not be this ...Let me once and for all reflect....Song mentioned I have too high ego..Is that true??... Tell me all my flaws so i am aware... Meanwhile, I m really feeling very stressed up. I want to do my job very well. I wanna change ppl's perception but i dunno how. If I had been a bit more tempremental these days. i seek your forgiveness. I m really trying to control....
Pls pls pls dun change plans or dun organize group outings bcos i cannot make it due to work.. I know u guys all think for me, want me to join(or is it the opp? ).. u all should jus meet as often as u can even if i cant..School's really starting soon... i really wanna join u guys whenever i can.. Now, probably the only relaxation I hav is when i spend time with u guys or my family..
Lam
The whole time i can't seem to get things done right for my boss..Basically, I had to participate in making a website for my department and it consists of international countries. My job was to build the contents for the website and make requests to the designers, For topics, i basically find n classify all the leadership n military leadership topics properly. Next, find links and resources to build on the topics. Sounds easy? Initially, i classified all the topics according to my limited knowledge(thinking of letting someone who's expert in this field correct whatever is wrong), then jus find links n resources by internet..how difficult can it be? How i categorize the topics, i jus showed him, he glanced through then told me go do...I din really go n understand all the topics.. There's prob like 30 plus diff topics all new to me...these 3 months i mainly jus had to work on the project.After 2 months when my boss asked me to show him wat i compiled, that's where all my nightmare starts...
U know wat he used to describe me? "Jia-lat" was his exact word. JIA LAT man!!. When i heard it i was like thinking "wtf", m i really that bad? to me the word is like hopeless u know..He told me I have failed him n those working with me.. the so called operation failed so far because of me..He told me i would get fired if i m in the outside world, unfortunately, he cant do it to me now..He made me feel really stupid man.. really stupid..I m serious.. Have u ever heard an officer being labled that? I even made him scold me "f*** u"... haha.. for a person who dosent really scold foul language normally no matter how angry, i probably tested his patience to the limit. But wat is wrong with me? There's obviously something which till now i m not 100% sure..Can anyone help me out on this?
I think the main problem with me on this is my unwillingness to learn? Assuming I know what he wants when i actually dunno? I really have to figure out y did it turn out this way.. I really need to reflect.. Tell me whatever u guys think I should improve on? need not be this ...Let me once and for all reflect....Song mentioned I have too high ego..Is that true??... Tell me all my flaws so i am aware... Meanwhile, I m really feeling very stressed up. I want to do my job very well. I wanna change ppl's perception but i dunno how. If I had been a bit more tempremental these days. i seek your forgiveness. I m really trying to control....
Pls pls pls dun change plans or dun organize group outings bcos i cannot make it due to work.. I know u guys all think for me, want me to join(or is it the opp? ).. u all should jus meet as often as u can even if i cant..School's really starting soon... i really wanna join u guys whenever i can.. Now, probably the only relaxation I hav is when i spend time with u guys or my family..
Lam
# posted by eastsidebackstreet : 7:30 pm
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