East.Side.Back.Street

Today supposed to be a much more relaxed day since morning lab has stopped and no lesson the whole day except lab work. However, as the sun set, it feels as if i just have had a battle. I feel so exhausted. I dunno if i have won that battle but it wont feel right or victorious even if i have won. In fact, at the bus stop, tears welled up my eyes. I haven had such a feeling for a long time.

It really upsets me when I learnt that my frens has shared lab results and had decided to exclude me. It somewhat trigger the devil in me and throughout the whole lab session, whether we agree with each other or not, we jumped at any chances we could to abuse one another verbally. We disagree and rebuke points stated, a discussion had turned into a heated debate. It wasnt obvious as it was smartly masked by spontaneous laughter. However, deep down inside, every rebuttal wasnt friendly and it hurts so much. I wanted to question and confront but i am afraid. I am afraid of questioning which might cause this notch in the friendship that is built of rock. People being human, we have a complex mind for individual to understand. I chose not to confront that complex mind. I can only say that I treasure this frenship far more than studies or results.

Sigh. It seems like primary school all over again. How come I dun feel nostalgic at all?