Thursday, September 22, 2005
This is the first time I'm writing in here. I never like blogging. I share the same sediment as Victor. Why tell everyone ur most inner feelings? Well, anyway, what got me writing in here is Huli's latest blog. He broke up with Aiwei. That is really disheartening for me. Huli has left for barely a month.
Victor and I have been together for 4 years nearing 5. What brought us together was our will to do well in studies back then and our love for sports. There was no physical attraction nor was there romantic dinner and courtship. It was gradual and mutual.
Our relationship was put to a test when he first entered army. I can still vividly remember the day he left for BMT. It was unbearable. That night, I couldnt sleep, not even a wink. I kept that whole night crying. But soon, i got used to it not without his assurance and calls every dawn and night.
Both of us survived thru army, our relationship did as well. We been thru every ups and downs together. Most often, it's him doing the maintaining and repairing after every tiffs and quarrels. Several times our relationship was on the rock. I was indeed on the verge on giving it all up since he will leave for UK one day and guarding a long distance relationship is never easy. However, Vic never. He never gives up hope on me, on the relationship that we both built over the years. I remember once that things were so bad that he almost went into depression. But still, he preserves.
Throughout the years, he has not only been the guy who shares my woes, satisfy my unlimited material wants, takes my nonsense but he has been my pillar of strength. He went thru my toughest period with me. From the day my mom had stroke and was bed-ridden to today where she is able to walk again. He never utters a word of discouragement or pessimism to me. I truly understand why my mom adores him. Always asking me to treat Vic nicer.
Now, our love is put to another test. This time round, further apart and longer period. If both of us are able to survive this. I can confidently say that we are ready to spend the next part of our life together. However, the next 4 years it's not going to be easy. I'm unsure and afraid.
I am very depressed that someone so dear to me is leaving my side in less than a week's time. Victor has always been there for me, constantly reminding me that I can always fall back on him. Even though, many keep telling me that he's just a phone call away. We all know that's not true. The hours difference, the cost etc. He is going to be alone there, I will not want to add unwanted pressure on him.
I am beginning to feel this choking feeling acting upon me as the date draws nearer. I start to sob whenever I hear his voice over the phone. It is extremely unbearable knowing that I am going to spend at least the next two months without him by my side. No one to bitch and grumble to when I'm down. No one to share nice expensive meals with. No one to hug and share Starbucks' hot cocoa in the movies.
I see myself walking down town doing my weekly shopping, drinking our all-time fav vanilla ice-blended coffee from taka all alone in the months to come Now, I dont mind that 'someone' there to keep nagging at me to spend my money wisely. I think I am going to miss those nagging.
It's a huge step for me as well as for Victor. But, we are going to make it thru once again, right vic? The first few weeks maybe hard for me but with the help from the rest of the clique and my supportive family, i believe i will be fine. Anyhow, look on the bright side, I 'lose' one boyfriend but in turn i 'gain' seven boyfriends.
As for whether i will cry at the airport, I will. Certainly. Wonder how Aiwei did it? (i'm not being sarcastic) Maybe Lam and Weiqin might wana change their bets to the degree of my crying. Tearing? Crying? Wailing? Or crying with hiccups?
P.S. Song says duno what's happening in Black's case. sad SAD SAD!
Ivy
Victor and I have been together for 4 years nearing 5. What brought us together was our will to do well in studies back then and our love for sports. There was no physical attraction nor was there romantic dinner and courtship. It was gradual and mutual.
Our relationship was put to a test when he first entered army. I can still vividly remember the day he left for BMT. It was unbearable. That night, I couldnt sleep, not even a wink. I kept that whole night crying. But soon, i got used to it not without his assurance and calls every dawn and night.
Both of us survived thru army, our relationship did as well. We been thru every ups and downs together. Most often, it's him doing the maintaining and repairing after every tiffs and quarrels. Several times our relationship was on the rock. I was indeed on the verge on giving it all up since he will leave for UK one day and guarding a long distance relationship is never easy. However, Vic never. He never gives up hope on me, on the relationship that we both built over the years. I remember once that things were so bad that he almost went into depression. But still, he preserves.
Throughout the years, he has not only been the guy who shares my woes, satisfy my unlimited material wants, takes my nonsense but he has been my pillar of strength. He went thru my toughest period with me. From the day my mom had stroke and was bed-ridden to today where she is able to walk again. He never utters a word of discouragement or pessimism to me. I truly understand why my mom adores him. Always asking me to treat Vic nicer.
Now, our love is put to another test. This time round, further apart and longer period. If both of us are able to survive this. I can confidently say that we are ready to spend the next part of our life together. However, the next 4 years it's not going to be easy. I'm unsure and afraid.
I am very depressed that someone so dear to me is leaving my side in less than a week's time. Victor has always been there for me, constantly reminding me that I can always fall back on him. Even though, many keep telling me that he's just a phone call away. We all know that's not true. The hours difference, the cost etc. He is going to be alone there, I will not want to add unwanted pressure on him.
I am beginning to feel this choking feeling acting upon me as the date draws nearer. I start to sob whenever I hear his voice over the phone. It is extremely unbearable knowing that I am going to spend at least the next two months without him by my side. No one to bitch and grumble to when I'm down. No one to share nice expensive meals with. No one to hug and share Starbucks' hot cocoa in the movies.
I see myself walking down town doing my weekly shopping, drinking our all-time fav vanilla ice-blended coffee from taka all alone in the months to come Now, I dont mind that 'someone' there to keep nagging at me to spend my money wisely. I think I am going to miss those nagging.
It's a huge step for me as well as for Victor. But, we are going to make it thru once again, right vic? The first few weeks maybe hard for me but with the help from the rest of the clique and my supportive family, i believe i will be fine. Anyhow, look on the bright side, I 'lose' one boyfriend but in turn i 'gain' seven boyfriends.
As for whether i will cry at the airport, I will. Certainly. Wonder how Aiwei did it? (i'm not being sarcastic) Maybe Lam and Weiqin might wana change their bets to the degree of my crying. Tearing? Crying? Wailing? Or crying with hiccups?
P.S. Song says duno what's happening in Black's case. sad SAD SAD!
Ivy
# posted by eastsidebackstreet : 8:53 am
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